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  • Crystal H.

Signs: Do We Always Get It Right?

So, you meet a guy you like. He has all the qualities you’ve been looking for. He’s kind, funny, and a Christian. To be honest, he has the total package and seems too good to be true. Next thing you know an attraction begins to form and you start wondering could this be it! Is this the man of your dreams? The man you’ve been praying for! The excitement from the possibility of this man being the husband you tirelessly waited and prayed for begins to grow and the anticipation becomes unbearable. If this is your husband there’s no need to waste any more time, right? I bet this scenario sounds familiar to many of you, myself included. Unfortunately, you soon realize the only stumbling block at this point in your road to love seems to be your new marriage candidate’s failure to reciprocate any interest. Since you are unable to read his mind and actions you turn to the only one who knows. Here is where your prayers to the Lord might begin as you search for those answers.

In this blog I want to discuss what your prayers might have sounded like and the outcome of those prayers. First let me ask, have you ever prayed to the Lord for a sign to reveal if this new guy is your husband or not? Second, after you received this sign did the answer appear to be yes, but nothing came of it and needless to say you are still unmarried? Many of us have been down this road and many of us have prayed for a sign and were certain we got a yes from the Lord only to discover the husband we just prayed for never came around. How can this be? I know this is frustrating that’s why I’m going to share my experience with this very situation and how I got a true spiritual confirmation about my husband. I didn’t need a sign I needed a confirmation.

It can be very confusing and disappointing when you truly believe you have a sign that points to a yes to find out it was misinterpreted. Trust me I know how it feels to get it wrong. I’ve been there done that many times. If only you knew how often I got it wrong. Even when I was absolutely certain without a shadow of doubt that I heard and read all the signs correctly. I had dreams and even thought I had picked up on all the clues in that person’s behavior. I was an expert analysist and I dissected every shred of evidence to prove the guy I was interested in was my husband. I can even remember a time when I dreamed about a guy that I didn’t know and had never seen before. We were in love in my dream, maybe even married. The mystery man’s name began with a “J” and his last name began with a “T”. I couldn’t recall his exact name, but I knew that much at least and from that point on I was certain my husband must have these same initials and any guy I met that had the same initials had me wondering if he was the one from my dream. This might sound crazy, but we do things like this. In the end my husband did not end up having these initials.

So, once again how did I get this wrong or how did I get any of my past scenarios wrong? If you noticed, I stated how did I get it wrong. God will never lie, so it wasn’t Him it had to be me. I believe I got it wrong because I was absorbed in interpreting the situation with my analytical eye not my spiritual eye. I spent days and hours using my analytical skills to piece the puzzle together. I thought long and hard when deciphering the signs I watched out for. I was so passionate about my own desires and interests rather than being totally absorbed in what the Lord desired. I wasn’t asking the Lord what His will was I was asking God for signs to confirm my will and that’s not how it goes. The guys I liked and envisioned being the best fit for me were guys I wanted and this is where we mess up ladies and even you guys. It’s not all about us. I know you are probably saying, this sounds crazy. How can we not have a say in who we want as a mate? I’m not saying you don’t have a say so, but what I am saying is God already knows who is best for you. The question should always be “God, is this the person you have in your will for me? Is it your will that we be together?” That should always be our first agenda. We should always want to be in the will of God. His will is far greater than our own and He will even exceed your expectation! You just have to trust him.

So, lets get back to how I got the signs mixed up when I was certain I got it right. I’ll continue by saying, when we become interested in someone we naturally want the best outcome, which would be for that person to also have interest in us. Our interest can become so strong that we unknowingly become bias to our own desires. Being bias also blinds us from the truth. How many of you know someone that is or was so in love with a person that they could not see or recognize that they were being mistreated, abused, lied to, and the list goes on? I use this an as example because having strong emotional feelings in any situation can blind us to a certain extent. When we become so driven it can be hard to persuade us to think otherwise. In the same manner we might become more driven to look for answers or signs that reveal the person we like is for us rather than not. We pray for a sign, but we look for ways to determine how the signs shape up in our eyes and we miss what we don’t want to see. Not saying you won’t eventually see the true answer, but it might be delayed when you are bias to our own desires.

In my experience I was definitely bias in my own desires. Not only that, but I had a habit of counting a guys actions and counting strikes like one bad sign wasn’t good enough. I didn’t want to accept the bad. In the meantime, as I was contemplating strikes and leaning towards could this be the dreaded no, the guy would somehow swoop in and do something thoughtful and now all of a sudden I have a good sign to unravel. This confused me so many times. It seemed like the signs were back and forth and I couldn’t pinpoint a solid answer. Please remember that God is not the author of confusion. He will always give you peace. Sometimes you have to take a step back and quit analyzing every little thing the person does and just watch. When you take your thoughts and reasonings out of the equation you can often times see clearly and you will soon make your decisions based off the fruit you see being produced by the person in question. When you start interpreting signs with your spirit and not your feelings you will then have the correct answer. Matthew 7:16 states “By their fruit you will recognize them…” You want to see fruit that gives you peace, confidence, and joy in your spirit. Not confusion, doubt, uncertainty, and anguish. It might take time for you to discern these things, so don’t expect the answer to show up tomorrow. At times it does require patience and time. I do want to add that it's ok to be unsure in the beginning, but when you pray for your confirmation allow the Holy Spirit in you to discern what is in question. If it’s been more than a couple months and you still don’t have solid peace then it might be time to focus your energy somewhere else. If that guy is for you he will have to realize that on his own and if it comes back around then great!

So, what should you be praying for when it comes to a sign or a confirmation from God? Well here’s what worked for me. When I met my husband I didn’t ask for specific signs like “Lord if this is my husband let him call me everyday this week”, because I wanted to be completely submissive to the will of God. Asking for signs in the past left me confused, so I wanted to pray something different. I prayed “Lord, if this is the man you have for me, make your will my hearts desire”. My prayer might start off a little different than yours since I was unsure if I was completely interested in him because he was different from the type of guy I had picked out for myself; however the main thing I want you to take from this prayer is that I prayed for the will of God to be revealed, not my will. This time I wanted to pray a prayer that showed I was surrendering to the will of God. I wanted God to show me His will, not for God to show me the signs I wanted to see. I truly wanted Him to confirm His will in my life.

I also stopped analyzing every action my soon to be husband was doing. In the beginning I was going crazy trying to figure things out so I stopped trying to figure it out. I didn’t decipher his actions to myself anymore. I just watched what God had to show me and the fruit I began to see was a confirmation that this man was indeed my husband. I saw fruit that gave me peace like no other, trust, confidence, and joy. In the past I thought I had it right because I was looking for reasons to make my will work, but this time was different. It wasn’t about my will.

I’ll end with this. My husband told me that he also had a prayer that he would pray as well. He often times thought he had received signs from the Lord that showed him who his wife was before me, but had turned out to not be the case. So, he would pray “Lord if this is not who you have for me then remove them from my life”. This type of prayer also showed that he was submitting to God’s will and not that of his own. In the end, I was the only girl that stayed around. That was confirmation on what God had already shown him regarding me being his wife. I believe God will confirm what He says to us after we pray according to his will. That confirmation along with the fruit you see will be the confirmation you are looking for. Be willing to accept what God is showing you even if it’s the dreaded “No” you don’t want to hear.

I hope this will help you when it comes to your questions concerning why you haven’t fully seen what you thought you had been shown. If you are still waiting on an answer from the Lord concerning someone you like ask God to allow his will to be done and not your will.


If He Did It For Me, He Will Do It For You

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