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  • Crystal H.

He Who Finds A Wife

If women are becoming more independent and finding new ways to take care of themselves and their families is it right for a woman to take matters into her own hands to find a husband. After all, who has time to waste? The clock is ticking so why wait when you can make something happen now. These are just a few of the many thoughts that so many women have as they await their knight is shining armor. For most women, if they want that certain job they work hard to get it and nothing can get in the way of their dreams. If she wants that house she will buy it herself. If she wants a new car she can get it herself. The independent woman movement came and never left. It continues to grow this very day and within it many successful stories have been made, but what about the woman who wants to get a man or a husband? How does the independent woman make this come to pass? Does she step out of the passenger’s seat and jump into the driver’s seat of her own love life.

When it came to dating and being found I certainly had my share of moments where I felt compelled to take matters into my own hands. I got tired of waiting and I got tired of seeing everyone else around me happy in love. There I stood on the side lines waiting to get some play time in the game. Eventually my wait took a toll on me and my impatience took over. That’s when I decided to “help” God out, but how many of you know that God doesn’t need anybody’s help. Nope, not at all. When we decide to step out of the will of God to make things happen on our watch we often times will walk ourselves right into a situation where we have to ask for His help to get us out. Every time I tried to push my way into a guy’s life it failed miserably. Taking matters into my own hands did not work out for me at all.

I’ve tried giving my number out, asked friends to hook me up, and I’ve written notes to express my interest. Some of these tactics worked, but most of these encounters were short lived and never turned out to be what I expected. The truth was I was trying to do all the seeking instead of trying to be found. When I tried to step out and act before God’s plan I either got my feelings hurt or I got played. The guys who were interested in me wholeheartedly pursued me wholeheartedly and gave it their all in an effort to get my attention. When I tried to pull a guy into my life he would never call and he didn’t pursue me wholeheartedly. What woman wants to be in a courtship with a man who doesn’t try to woo her every chance he gets? Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t successful love stories where a woman pursued the man first. I’m sure there are married couples out there that came to be because of the woman, but in my life God called for me to be patient and wait for Him to work things out. He wanted me to be found, He wanted me to be pursued, and ultimately He wanted to be glorified through the testimony of my love story. Could I have taken matters into my own hands? The answer is yes, but God’s plan was greater than that my own. He had the right person set aside for me. I just had to be patient and wait for the Lord to bring us together. Even if it meant waiting until I was 40 or 50. I wanted what God had for me. I just needed encouragement along the way to help me continue on my journey. I saw what picking a mate for myself could bring, so I didn’t want to put myself in a situation where I made the wrong choice when it came to my husband.

I do want to point out an interesting fact about my story and how I met my husband. Believe it or not I met my husband online on a dating website. I struggled with the thought of meeting a guy online because I thought it went against what I believed, which was to let the guy find me. I didn’t want to be the one in search of a man or pursuing a man and in my eyes online dating was doing just that. So, after prayer and heavy meditation I decided to give it a try. I felt reassured that it was ok for me to proceed. When I came across my husband’s profile I liked what I read about him and he seemed like a really nice guy. So, there I was faced with a decision. Should I write him a message or not? Deep down I wanted the guy to find me. So, I prayed again and asked God to give me peace about what to do. That’s when He spoke to me ever so quietly and gave me what felt like heavenly permission to send my future husband a wink rather than a message. A wink was an easy way of making my presence known without being too forward. Sending a wink also allowed him to respond and pursue me if he was truly interested in me. This was God’s way of reassuring me that my husband was truly interested in me and the ball would be in his court when it came to pursuing.

The reason why I wanted to share this story with you is because God works in mysterious ways. We can’t place limits on what God can do, and we can always depend on God’s word being true. When your husband finds you he will find a good thing. Believe that! Just allow him to find you. I guarantee you will find peace and security knowing that your husband found you and pursued you because he knew you were the good thing missing in his life. I thought in the beginning I was stepping too far outside the box by going online to date, but God gave me assurance that He could still allow a man to find me even in unusual places. The dating site was just a way to make my presence known and the wink I sent online was nothing more than just a smile. The same smile I would have naturally given If I saw my husband in person. I might have seen his profile first, but I had no clue he was my husband and I didn’t pursue him to try to make him my husband. Instead, my husband saw a good thing presented before him, and he took the opportunity to pursue me and find me as his wife. I think it’s safe to say he found just that.


If he did It for me, He Will do it for You

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