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V-day for Singles: Victim, Validation, or Victory

February 14, 2018

 

If I were standing in a room filled with single men and women, I guarantee, without a shadow of doubt that most of them in the room would raise their hand if I were to ask how many of them had ill feelings towards Valentine’s Day. How many of you reading this article today are on pins and needles knowing that the day of LOVE is just hours away? To make matters even worse you have no one to love, and it seems as if no one in the world seems to notice or care.  I can honestly say, that before I was married I despised Valentine’s Day aka as V-Day. I couldn’t understand how there could be a holiday that encouraged people to demonstrate their love and affection toward the ones they loved, and simultaneously reminded me and so many others that we were still not on the receiving end of love. It had me questioning who I was. I can remember the days when I didn’t get any V-Day gifts and I didn’t have any V-Day dates lined up. I just hoped and prayed at some point during my V-Day that someone would remember little ol’ me and give me a sweet Valentine’s day gift of validation. Unfortunately, my desires to have a Valentine often went unheard and unnoticed which left me with a bitter taste in my mouth when it came to V-Day! I didn’t want any part of it and I wished it never existed. I’m sure I’m not the only one who felt or feels that way.

 

Looking back on my singleness I realize that my disgust for this infamous holiday arose from a bitter hurting place in my heart. I allowed my situation (being single) to control me and my thinking, and guys this is totally not the way to handle the hurt and pain you feel. How will bitterness ever produce something sweet and good? It can’t. The only way to be positive about your situation is to allow the Lord to remove the bitterness and hurt you feel deep inside. Although I ultimately survived the loneliness I felt on V-day, the days I spent being bitter could not be erased and I wish I would have focused on being content and happy whether I had someone on V-Day or not. Instead, I allowed my insecurities to have its way with me which made February the 14th a guaranteed bad day on my calendar each year. So how many of you can admit that you also despise what tomorrow may bring? I know it would be so much better if you could have your way and have a valentine on V-day, but if you don’t let’s find a way to conquer your insecurities and actually have an enjoyable day no matter what circumstances are around you. What will you let this V-day mean for you? Will this V-day stand for Victim Day, Validation Day, or Victory Day? The decision is yours.

 

V-day: Victim-Day

 

How many of you are willing to allow tomorrow to turn you into a victim? A victim is a person who has been hurt or damaged by something or someone. Many single men and women are going to allow their singleness to draw them into a state of depression tomorrow, which ultimately gives their condition complete control and power over them. Don’t allow your relationship status to damage you anymore and don’t allow it to make a victim out of you either. Remember Valentine’s day can’t harm you, but your mindset can. Don’t dread Valentine’s Day like I did. I want you all to be empowered and live a single life that’s fulfilling. We are not going to allow a holiday to disable us on our journey any longer. Keep your head up and face tomorrow boldly. Be strong and not fearful, realizing that tomorrow is not promised for some, so enjoy the day just because it’s another day you have to live.

 

Also, I want you to remember who has your world in their hand. Jesus died on the cross for you and I so that we may live again. Who could ever out demonstrate this action of love for us? Absolutely no one! You are loved and you are loved by the greatest. You don’t need a teddy bear or a box of chocolate to tell you how much you are loved. We live this life to worship the Lord and to be a witness to those who don’t believe. As children of God we have to remember who is most important and that we are striving to please the Lord. So, repeat after me, “I will no longer allow V-day to mean Victim Day for me!” You are not a victim and you are no longer giving your situation, condition, or mindset the authority to label you as a victim who feels sorry for themselves on February the 14th. Got it!

 

V-Day: Validation Day

 

Valentine’s Day is a holiday that has turned people into validation Kings and Queens. I remember when I was in high school, Valentine’s Day was the day when everyone toted their balloons, flowers, teddy bears, and boxes of chocolate around like little trophies. All I wanted was to carry one of those trophies around for myself, because in my mind if I had a V-day trophy it meant to others that I was valuable and worthy. It showed to my classmates I was pretty enough to get recognized outwardly, and it meant I was cool and interesting. Isn’t it funny how immature our thinking can be, but isn’t even more interesting to see how a mindset that developed so early on for me actually remained with me years and years later even as I matured? I seemed to mature as I aged and I outgrew many of my immature ways of thinking, but this thought of needing validation didn’t truly get dealt with until I was in my mid 20s. I had allowed a day of the year to place value on who I was. Please know and understand that you do not need a gift on V-Day to validate who you are. Just because you don’t get a gift doesn’t mean no one is thinking of you. Just because you don’t have a “valentine” doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. Who told you being single on V-Day meant you are not loved and unworthy of attention? Please tell me who told you that lie, because I know it didn’t come from the Father.

 

The devil is determined to kill, steal, and destroy. Victims are killed, victims are robbed, and victims are destroyed. Satan wants to victimize you. If satan can trick you into thinking you need validation on V-day because the world says so, then trust me he will take the opportunity to do just that when February the 14th rolls around. Don’t fall into the trap. What does God say about you? That’s what matters the most. He says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. He says you are the head and not the tail. In fact, Valentine’s day is not even in the bible, so why do you need to be validated on this day? Is it because it fits the worlds standards? In my opinion, that is not a good enough excuse to jeopardize your well-being for. We are not to conform to the ways of this world. I wish I would have taken that to heart when I was single. My attitude would have been a whole lot different. So, repeat after me, “I will not make February 14th a validation day for me. I am already validated by Christ and that took place at the cross.”

 

V-Day: Victory Day

 

This has to be my favorite way to describe V-Day! Don’t you know that we already have the victory and that’s solely based on who we have on our side? Jesus has already defeated the enemy so you are victorious in every area of your life, including the dreaded Valentine’s Day. There are too many Christians who are walking around like losers when they are actually winners. The battle we fight is not one against flesh and blood so you have to realize this is a spiritual fight and if you are on the team with Jesus Christ your battle has already been won. Like I stated earlier, the devil wants to trick your mind and cause you to stumble and yes, he will use something that may seem so minuet as a holiday to bring you down. He will do whatever it takes to cause you to think of yourself as less than what God will have you to think. You will be well on your way to victory when you can begin to rejoice because of what God has done for you and because of where He is taking you. The moment you declare that you are taking back control over your mind will be the day you begin walking in true victory. So, repeat after me, “I declare V-day means Victory-Day for me! I am victorious and tomorrow will be a good day!”

 

Tomorrow will be a beautiful day, because you are still here! Tomorrow will be a day of victory for you, because it will be the first Valentine’s Day in a very long time where you actually smiled and not frowned. It will be your victory day because for the first time you will actually laugh and not cry. You won’t be a victim you will be a victor. No longer will validation be at the fore front of your mind on V-day. You have already been validated by the one who means the most to you. Don’t get consumed in a holiday that our Lord in heaven didn’t even create. Everyday should be a demonstration of love. We don’t need a holiday to remind us how to love one another. All those days I wished I had a Valentine were wasted moments. I can’t regain those days where I allowed myself to be unhappy and insecure because I was single. Take tomorrow and turn it into a day of worship. Take what has attempted to halt your progress and turn it into what you want it to be, which will be a day of Victory!

 

Love,

If He did it for me, He will do it for you

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