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December 19, 2017

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I'm Not Single. I'm On Reserve

November 30, 2017

I’m here to make a special announcement. The phrase “I’m single” has a whole new meaning now. You are no longer single, but you are “on reserve” and I think it’s time that we start viewing singleness as something better than a place of stagnation and deprivation. I know your feelings concerning your singleness may bring you down and may have caused you to waiver in your faith, but I’m here to tell you there’s so much more to being single than being locked in a box with no way of escape. In order for you to see the enriching side of singleness you have to renew your thinking. You’ve got to free your mind of all the negative clutter that’s clouding your thinking. Think of yourself as being reserved for the perfect husband rather than just being single. “I’m on reserve” sounds a lot more promising than “I’m single”, and waiting for my day to come.  For example, when you have reservations at a restaurant that reservation gives you guaranteed access to a table when the appointed time arrives. By faith you are saved and granted access into the Kingdom of heaven. The same faith that saved you is the same faith that will bring you to your reserved appointed time to meet your husband. God has reserved you for the ideal person and no one else can have you. Just like a table reservation, no one can have access to your reservation if their name is not on the list. God already knows who you are reserved for and both of your last names will be listed the same on the list. When you marry your husband your last name will change to his, so if you try to fulfill your reservation with a guy who’s name is different from that on the list, I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s not going to work. That special reservation was created for one guy, and that guy is your husband.

 

I remember when I was single, I use to think I had a curse on my life.  This curse I supposedly had would not allow me to have a successful long term relationship, no matter how hard I tried. Every relationship or courtship I would enter into would always end up unsuccessful. I can count on numerous occasions how quickly my dating experiences would turn into a failure. Every relationship would end just after a few months and the new guys I would meet never made it past hello. I even let my friends and coworkers hook me up, but again things never worked out. If there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that nothing was working out for me and I didn’t have a real chance at having a successful relationship any time soon. I even remember praying to God to lift the curse that was on my dating life. I just didn’t understand why things would never go my way, then one day I realized the truth about my singleness. The revelation was that I didn’t have a curse on my dating life.  I was not exiled from love nor was I banished from having successful relationships, but I was on reserve for a very specific man who had to meet very specific qualifications. Now I thank God for the multiple failed relationship attempts I had. If it wasn’t for God and His perfect will for my life I could have very easily gotten attached to the wrong person, which could have made my life miserable. I can rejoice that He saved me from the guys who didn’t mean me any good and kept me for a man who was after His own heart. I’m also thankful for the wisdom I gained from my negative dating experiences. Now I can share my experiences with you and change the hearts of those who are still waiting for their husband or wife’s arrival.  My mission is to inspire you while you wait for your future reservation.

 

I understand we are human and naturally we are going to have negative feelings and emotions when we don’t have what we desire.  It’s so easy during this time to settle for whatever comes our way. So, I want you to remember that God is the only person that can fill the void you feel inside and you shouldn’t allow yourself to settle for less in an attempt to fill the void within you.  When I look back over my dating experiences, I’d be one unhappily married or divorced woman right now if God allowed me to fill my void with people instead of Him. If it had not been for God’s grace towards me I’d be lost. So be thankful God has not allowed you to marry the guy you thought was the one. This should be good news to you. If it’s Gods will that you be married then you will be married and your waiting won't be in vain. You have been reserved for your husband and the best thing you can do is praise God in advance for his perfect will. Furthermore, while you wait you should be preparing yourself for who God has for you. My article “What it Took to Get Here” goes into great detail on the things you should be focused on while you wait.  Going from reserved to married is a journey and it takes a lot of intentional prayer and preparation.

 

Speaking of journeys, I remember the journey I had the day I got engaged. The week of our engagement my boyfriend, now husband, told me he made dinner reservations for us at 5:00 on October 29, 2016. I anxiously anticipated our special date night and couldn’t wait to enjoy a beautiful romantic evening with my man. When the time finally came for us to head to dinner we ended up taking too much time getting ready. Well, let me rephrase that. I took too much time getting ready, so we ended up leaving for the restaurant with only 10 minutes left to get there. As we were traveling to the restaurant the only thing on my mind was how late we were going to be and that we were going to miss our reservation. Then out of no where my boyfriend paused to tell me we had to make a stop at a nearby park to pick something up from a cousin. I’m sure you guys can imagine the look I had on my face after he told me that. There was absolutely no way we were going to make the reservation if we had to make a stop first. I remember fussing the entire ride to the park. All I wanted was to eat and enjoy dinner. Once we got to the park we had to walk for what seemed like a mile. The walk was almost unbearable, so I asked my boyfriend to go on without me so I could rest my feet. After all I was dressed for dinner and the high heels I had on were killing me. Although I begged him to let me stop, while he continued on, he never left my side and kept on pushing me. He wouldn’t let me give up. Once we got to the right spot in the park my boyfriend’s planned proposal began to unravel.  After the proposal I was speechless. I couldn’t believe what had just taken place. All that I had gone through was definitely worth it in the end! When things calmed down after the proposal I asked my fiancé what were his plans for dinner, since our dinner reservation was an hour and a half ago. To my surprise my fiancé had actually made our reservation for 7:00 and not 5:00. How perfect was that. The person in charge of the plans for the evening made sure we had reservations at the right time and the journey I had to take to get to the engagement was all a part of the plan.

 

So, what does that story have to do with you and your singleness. Well just like the journey I went through to get to my engagement your process to get to your husband will also be a journey.  You may not understand why things are going the way they are or how they are going to add up, but rest assured that your God is in control and you will get to the reservation He has for you. The journey I had that day was not an easy one and the journey you will have to endure won’t be easy either. No matter how things appear, you have to keep trusting the one who is leading you and keep walking.  God will only lead you in the right direction. Sometimes the journey you are facing will cause you pain, but you have to keep walking. You can’t get anywhere if you are standing still. The day I got engaged I ended up getting blisters on both of my feet that night after walking through the park in high heels, but the reward that was on the other side of the park was worth it. I couldn't walk, but I had a ring. You will have some bruises too along the way, but it’s worth it if you get what you’ve been praying for in the end. You can see our proposal video here.

 

Some of you reading this may be questioning whether or not God really has a husband for you or you may be wondering if being on reserve really means there’s someone else waiting for you. Well, my answer to that is this… whatever is Gods will shall be done, so you need to first pray God’s word to Him and ask that it be in His will that you get married. By praying God’s word to Him you realize His word will never return empty or void (Isaiah 55:11). It will accomplish what it was spoken out to do. The bible states for us to, “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” (Psalm 37:4) and whatever you ask in prayer, if you believe, you will receive it (Mark 11:24). These scriptures tell us that If we believe without doubting we will have what we desire in our heart. Your husband is out there somewhere. The real question is do you believe your husband is out there and do you still have total faith that you will be married one day? If you’ve lost your faith then it’s time to find it, because the thing you have been asking for won’t come to pass if you don’t believe your heavenly father for it.

 

Besides strong faith you need to understand your purpose in marriage. If you are a Christian woman who seeks to please the Lord then you must understand that being married has a greater purpose. Marriage was created by God and it should glorify God in every way, which means your marriage is a ministry with purpose. When you accept this responsibility as part of your marriage you are saying to God that you want to be used by Him and you want to bring glory to His name through your marriage. When you pray this to God you are allowing yourself to be set apart for his work and when you are set apart you won’t be able to do the same things everyone else does and you won’t be moving at the same pace as everyone else either. So, don’t feel left out because everyone else seems to be meeting their husband and you have not. You have to remember that being set a part means just what it says. You are set a part for Kingdom work. This is how you go from single to being reserved. If you have been set apart to do Gods will then He has to set you up with a man who is just as special as you are. You can’t be linked up with just any ol’ body. Therefore, it takes time to get the two of you ready for a marriage with purpose. Your husband is being prepared and prepped just like you, so you should take this time to pray for him as he is getting prepared. Don’t give up on him because he hasn’t come yet. Instead, trust the process God has designed for your life and live out life with joy and anticipation for what God has for you.

 

The good news for those who are reading this article and haven’t lost their faith, is that your singleness no longer has to be a negative experience. Why, because you are on reserve. Things that are reserved are important, special, limited, and distinguished. Think of yourself as that important, special, limited, distinguished item! Your value in the Kingdom of God is great and you have been set apart for Kingdom work. Like you, your husband has been reserved as well. This should be exciting because there’s light at the end of the tunnel. God has reserved you for your husband, but even better you have reserved yourself for God. When you reserve yourself for God you surrender to His will and you yield your life to Him. No one can ever take His place in your life.  When you are reserved for God you also commit yourself to Him and understand that His plans are to prosper you, not to harm you and to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). You are God’s property and you do not belong to this world. With that being said, you have something to look forward to and should be glad you have been set apart. You are on the reservation list for a Godly marriage, not just the average marriage. So, are you equipped for this assignment? If not there’s still time left to ask God to create in you what you need to have to be a proverbs 31 wife.

 

Always remember your future marriage has a purpose and fulfilling this purpose means more than just having someone on your side. A marriage does not fill a void, instead it fulfills a purpose. Your desire to marry should be purpose driven and it should bring glory to God. You have been set apart, which means you are not like the world. Don’t get caught up in what you don’t have. Keep your eyes on the prize and know that you are reserved! You are reserved for a purpose, you are reserved for God, and you have been reserved for your husband.

 

Keep believing and don’t give up!

 

Love,

If He did it for me, He will do it for you

 

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